Pheby's

Past few months

2012-01-28T17:33:00.000-08:00

(source: loveyourquotes)

These last few months......

18. Being 18 and happy. Happy and mature. Mature and responsible. Responsible and wise. And.. and... and....

Past few months, I gained some kilos. I can't blame it all to the internship program, It's literally because I ATE A LOT and NO EXERCISES AT ALL. Still working till 3rd of february and counting for the first day of the fourth semester. Also done choosing the concentration for the fourth semester and still stick with the same decision; Finance :''

Life so far so good to me, I finally get used to these stressful- happy- worried- day(s) and do you know that short-hair is so addictive ? I'm Planning to do a hair cut again, maybe next month.

I met a lot of friends these past few months, especially high school friends. Talking, sharing, laughing, eating, remembering the good ol' day. I feel grateful to have them in my life :]

You ; You know who you are. I'm so thankful to have you in my life, though we will never be together. I love you, no matter I love you same like I love you before, or love you just as a friend. Cheer up, I know that you are strong enough to let go of us :'

I need inspiration. I need to do something from my fuck-normality list. I get bored easily these days.

I get sick easily for these last few months. Medicine(s), Food(s), Medicine(s), Vitamin(s). I think I just need a good night sleep.

Last thing is.... these last few months I spent many times went to the mall/ places.. alone. Many people asked me "Why?" , some of my good-friend said that i'm such a weirdo and some of them asked where I am and insisted to go after me after that. When they insisted to go after me, it doesn't feel like I hate it nor I'm happy, but i feel like " why it's so hard to have a quality time, alone"

Finally, these past few months I'm having this me-time alone for I don't know how many times and how much in number(s). One of the question that people often ask is : "What are you usually do when you're alone like that ?" ----- Many. I go to the cafe or restaurant (Starbucks or coffee shop is the best), find a perfect spot to sit. Eat, drinking coffee, writing, reading books, googling. I also love to watch movie at the theater, do some grocery shopping and buying clothes and stuffs.

"Point is, I love to be alone. Not a loner but I love me- time, my alone time. You shoudd try this sometimes, it's fun."

PS : TOE and Friendly Fires is coming to Jakarta and I'm sooooooo happyyyyyy.

Blog.

2011-12-03T03:03:00.000-08:00

I love food(s). Pretty food(s) and good food(s). Maybe i'll begin to review some cafe or good restaurant and also good food(s) here, in my first blog. #Promise

November 2011

2011-11-08T07:10:00.000-08:00

Second month(s) of doing internship. First month at CI department ( read : Information System/ IT department).

Last day at CTG department ( read : Finance/ Accounting department).

Changing department, changing work, changing job, changing jobdesk, changing desk (table), changing scene-view (beside-window-table), changing boss, changing routine(s), changing things.

Time goes by. October is waving a goodgood-bye while November is saying a Hello.

A hello for a new beginning, a hello for a new start.

I was offered to work (intern) at CI department even though my uni's major is Business Administration ; Finance.

At first, I wasn't sure. I couldn't do that 'coding' things. I even don't understand all of the hardware. But thanks God, I do not have to do those things. My job is somehow-still-related with business administration, my uni's major.

"Somehow, being in the CI department give me a new inspiration, a new hope and a new idea(s)."

I never knew that i'll end up being a Finance/ business administration person (still) but by having an Internship, talking with colleagues at work about their job (the correlation of their majors at the university and their job ; I also do a research about this)

and.... (now) as an CI's intern and being inside the CI department, i know that what major you are taking at the University, you can still be someone you want to.

It's never too late to be what you want to, what you dream to.

The majors you took in college doesn't guarantee you a job/ your career in the future.

You can be anything you want, anything you like, anything you love with an effort, a hard work -- willing to learn and also try.

And last but not least... a little wild-senseless-character.

Keep the spirit, stay positive, keep trying and always make a good vibe(s).

Love,

Pheby

0ne

2011-10-15T21:36:00.001-07:00

"A very important principle of relationships is that you cannot change another person; you can only transform yourself.

You cannot force people to act in certain ways. Punishing, withdrawing, or trying to make people do what you want only strengthens their resistance.

It turns your power over to others, making them the source of meeting your needs rather than yourself.

You cannot make people change; however you can modify your reaction to their behavior.

You can awaken your heart centers and shift your perceptions, beliefs, and thoughts.

You can release needing others to alter their behavior, and love and accept them instead." — Orin, Soul Love

Try this : Memoryhouse

2011-09-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

Duo of Evan Abeele ; a musician and Denise Nouvion; a photographer-videographer from Ontario.

The name "Memoryhouse" was taken as a tribute to German Max Richter’s seminal work and the project was originally a means to escape the paralysis of winter.

Dreamy tunes that will bring you to a peace-lovely stage. Mixes of ambient loops, breezy samples, aquatic guitars, and burbling synths.

On September 13, 2011 Sub Pop Records will release a fully re-recorded, remixed and re-mastered version of The Years, adding two new tracks entitled “Modern, Normal” and “Quiet America.

I love their song(s). Perfect for any time.

Source : last.fm, tumblr

The Dø "Song For Lovers"

2011-09-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

Can't stop listening to this song :'')

Childhood's dream.

2011-09-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

One of my Childhood's dream back then.......

"UNYU"

2011-09-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

Starbucks. Madrid. Unyu (?) hahaha. Randomness. Friends. Chat. Quality time.

2011-09-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

Hola! Recent updates from me :

I have a new blog. Click the link below :

Halcyon(s)

PS : I will not leave this blog.

Halcyon(s) is just some random new blog showing the other side of me.

Love,

Pheby.

2011-08-27T08:59:00.001-07:00

I LOST MY LAPTOP. FUCK. YOU. THIEF.

You, Appearing

2011-07-31T09:54:00.000-07:00

Hello. Goodbye. Hello. Goodbye. Hello. Goodbye. Repeat.

"And I know I'm making my way out of town...."

-----

2011-07-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

Wind turbine(s) : Move, Spin, Rotate.

Feeling changes. I used to. It used to. They used to. We used to.

If you read this post ---- Sorry for everything.
Bye, see you.

"So many days I've thrown away, You just say it's ok" - Ok by Mute Math.

2011-07-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

One of my future-so-called-home-city ; Amsterdam

Notes : Exams = so-so. Business math and accounting were really hard.
Wishing for the best result.

"Welcome holiday and welcome Internship's year."

Brother

2011-07-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

A soul-mate, a best-friend, a lover, a listener, everything.

Watch and listen to his single : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n6A97BpP0I

twiter : @everydaysight or @juann_neli

Run , gossip, smile, sleep, swim, eat.

2011-06-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

A perfect getaway before the hectic week, before the final exam weeks and before the abstract months ; Padma hotel, Bandung.

Elephant (s)

2011-05-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

Taman safari - 2010

" I love elephant but elephant (s) are more lovely"

Lights, sleep and random tips

2011-04-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

"Light(s)". I used to sleep with the lights on but since this second semester, i tried to sleep with the lights off.

Some people said, sleeping with the lights on will not give your eyes a rest/ break although you're sleep.
I don't fancy this 'saying' too much but there are some other reason why i choose to sleep with the lights off from this second semester.

One of the reason is because it's relaxing, especially when you put a music on and use some aromatherapy.
I love to listen to Flica, Rist and Midori's sleep album while I'm sleeping.
But, my favorite track at the moment is " You Hid" by Toro y Moi.

For a relaxing night and deep sleep, you can use aromatherapy in your room.
These essential oils can improve many things for you from headaches and anxiety to helping you relax and sleep.
Some aromatherapy that can be used to help you relax and easier to sleep (according to studies) are Lavender, Chamomile, Bargamont and sandalwood.
For me, I like chamomile and sandalwood.
And usually before I go to sleep, i brew chamomile tea or drink some hot milk.

Last month

2011-04-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

Some of my vacation's photos.....

Europe trip pictures - March

Can you guess what's the name of each place in the picture? (except picture no. 5)

-I Love Capri-Sun

Escape

2011-03-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Some random shoot from last 2 weeks vacation (update later)

NOTE :

Hair cut : Before i went to holiday, i get my hair-cut. I know it's too short but I can't stand for another hair fall. It's stressed me out so with some of my friend suggestion, i cut my hair just like you can see in the picture above.

I went from home for 2 weeks. It was an amazing trip with some of new friends though I went alone without my mom and dad. It was 3 degree Celsius until 15 degree Celsius in Europe ( France, Italy, Belgium, Monaco, Netherlands). I went to 5 countries and ** cities (forgot)

Amsterdam is my currently-in-love city. I love Amsterdam.

Feeling

2011-02-12T05:16:00.000-08:00

Tree. Forest. Green. Picnic. Vacation
"I never felt this way. I never felt something like this to someone, to something."

Sometimes, things don't work out the way you wanted them to.
Escape. Run away. Death. Suicide ---- could be the best thing to do for some people in this situation. But i promised, i'm not gonna do those things ---- never.
I promised that when bitter, sad or bad things happened, I'll never do some stupid things like i used to do years ago.

It'll be nice to dissapear for a while, for a week, a month, 3 months, 6 months or even years.
I can't blame anyone . Just me. It's all about me, myself.
A vacation would be perfect, maybe forest and mountain would be a right choice at this time.
I always love trees, rock and forest. There's something beautiful about it.
Maybe i need some recess : alone. Some time alone to think about things ; future, past and present.
I cant blame my parents about this. I also can't blame you (you know who you are).
It's hard to leave you but it's also hard to handle this.

See you when I see you,
Pheby

P.S : sorry to write this random shitness personal problem.

Boys

2011-01-29T09:22:00.000-08:00

1. brown hair | black hair | blonde hair | red hair

2. tall | short | same height as you

3. ear piercings | eyebrow piercings | snake bites | no piercings | other

4. tattoos | no tattoos | idgaf

6. shy | outgoing | in between

7. mellow | hyper | loud | quiet

8. blue eyes | brown eyes | green eyes

9. wears tight jeans | wears normal jeans

10. converse | vans | nike | adidas

12. compliments too much | compliments when necessary

13. jokes around all the time | jokes when necessary

14. sensitive | hides emotion | acts tough

16. loves to hold | loves to be held

17. tons of muscles | fit | skinny | chubby

18. pale | average | tan | dark

19. curses a lot | never curses | moderately curses | only curses around friends |

17. I miss you.

2011-01-11T08:26:00.000-08:00

Summer, spring, summer, spring. Turn 17. I miss you

December

2010-12-25T18:55:00.000-08:00

December. Last month of 2010. Last month of being 16. I seriously can't wait for 2011.
For a new dream, a new beginning and a new journey and a new future.
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Christmas's eve and Christmas day = far from what I hope and expected. Bad things happened and it still disturbed my mind now. I don't understand why this 'things' happened when we suppose to be happy on the Christmas feast. I hope that they will sort things out as soon as possible so I can feel relieved .

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I'm thinking to take finance major , I don't have specific reason why i choose finance major. It just blown up from my head when i confronted with the other 3 choices ; Accounting, Marketing and International business from the business school. Since I was a teenager or perhaps kid (?) , I never thought that I will be a finance-person or going to a business school. I'm dreaming to become an architect like my mom or becoming a designer or musician. But the reality is, I'm a business student now. I never regret going to a business school ; (at first yes) but now I realize that life goes on, future changes and being a finance-person didn't close the possibility/ potential for me to becoming a designer or a musician too.

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"The course of life is unpredictable... no one can write his autobiography in advance"
--Abraham Joshua Heschel

Love

2010-11-19T09:07:00.000-08:00

Love is a decision- not an emotion

I don't know ; Dilemma

2010-10-23T07:51:00.001-07:00

Fuck, Shit

2010-10-02T05:55:00.000-07:00

Day, Night. Minute, Hours. Me, You. Ended.

Waiting

2010-08-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

"Waiting for someone, loosing a minute"

PS : Dear 'you' , are you worth waiting for?

Ending ; Change

2010-07-16T02:22:00.000-07:00

This day i think a lot about an ending.
An ending from something clear and near. An ending from a beautiful something.
An ending from a perfect moments. An ending that cannot describe in words.
An ending that cannot be see or feel perfectly. An ending that so unfriendly. An ending that make you cry.
An ending that make you think.

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Life seems imperfect to all of us as a human being. Have any of you ever felt like you wished that we lived our life in a very different way?
I've been feeling about this very lately.
I'm thinking about changing.I'm no longer the same and of course we move and change.
I used to be so happy. I used to be a cheerful person but in another things, i used to be a negative person.
Being hurt so many times, lied to, backstabbed make me think that some of our close people are not that kind.
I can't easily trust people although those people are my close friends or family.
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Trying to ending something is not easy. Trying to move on and forget about the past and go forward in life is what we all should do. But it's not easy.
We all have to survive and go on with it.
And like what i've said, we should make a change although it's hard, although it's hurt.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE REAL PROBLEMS

2010-04-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

This day i realized how fast time has passed. May 2010 is the last month in this year for me in HS .
I'll be in somewhere, somewhere far away, and as you know,i'll be busier this year for school/college stuff .
I guess my mind will divided into several component that join together to form an arguments.
Today, i skipped school because of my monthly illness ; flu, cough, stomach cramps and allergy
I never understand why i always get this monthly illness ; i live healthy and i eat healthy food.

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Seriously i can't wait for the school break. I'll have a time to think about things, i mean i should think about
those things ; school, major, college, passion and figure out what's the next step should i pick.

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I'll never trust anybody again. I'm truly madly confused being too far away from you.
You promised but you repeatedly doing the same old mistake.

March

2010-03-03T06:22:00.000-08:00

Not yet moved on but i'm trying
it's hard but I'll made it

Current mood: Happy-Sad-Happy
Current song: Daphne Loves Derby- Part Of My Past

-

2010-01-27T05:22:00.000-08:00

It's hurt and sucks

-

2010-01-16T20:36:00.000-08:00

Insecure. Alone. Sad. Dead.

HOPE

2009-10-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

I hope i can...
live forever, not forever you can say it longer
be a successful person
be more creative; I'm not a creative person actually
understand what my teacher said in the school
be proud of myself ; yeaah i should
be stronger
learn new things; I'm bored

I hope you...
told me the truth
don't give a fuck
help me survive
go away
save me
hate me
love me

I hope tomorrow....
will be better
i go somewhere far away
i can smile

Streams

2009-06-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

my heart is locked in youu

this day, i woke up late. i went to the physiologist again with my parents.
and we talk a lot of stuff there,
about my stream that i choose and about my dream.
what should i choose ? the science/ social stream. i still confuse about that.
it's some kind of dilemma for me.
i want to be a physiologist or musicologist someday in the future.
and i hope that i can choose the right stream now.

Things i cannot photograph

2009-06-08T01:30:00.000-07:00

Thunder

2009-05-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

okay, here it is,
i love thunder

Thunder thunder
rumble and roar,
close the windows
and lock the door.

2009-05-03T02:57:00.002-07:00

OKAYYY....

Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing them self

- Leo Tolstoy

Graduation year 9

2009-04-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

9R
taken by: luthfi
this photo is taken when i was in 9 grade ; 2008
i miss you all so muchhh, 9R

School's out, Memories past, Don't ever doubt, Our friendship will last.

I love skittles so much

2009-04-10T00:26:00.000-07:00

i love the sweet taste in my mouth. :)

Daniel- bat for lashes

2009-04-08T22:50:00.000-07:00

I love this song :)

Sad eyes by bat for lashes

2009-04-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

I don't like the things you don't say
Leaving it for such a long long time
Why do you show me those sad sad eyes
Each time you decide to pass on by

And when you smile those sad eyes
Look sadder and sadder still

Autumns you know sad eyes
Makes me laugh and laugh and more
I'll have a bath or make the dinner and then I'll go wait for a long long time
But still you haven't passed my door

And when you smile those sad eyes
Look sadder and sadder still

I can tell that you're lonely
But it seems now
There's nothing you want me to do
So I won't try to take the sadness from those eyes that I love
Leave it open for someone else to

And when you smile those sad eyes
Look sadder and sadder still

Trying to hold it together
Keep my love as light as a feather
Sad eyes baby it's been such a long time
Keep my heart breaking in the dark
Come and spend the day

Trying to hold it together
Keep my love as light as a feather
Sad eyes baby it's been such a long time
Keep my heart breaking in the dark
Come and spend the day

Blue Bloods saga !

2009-04-07T06:43:00.000-07:00

finally i finished read Blue bloods and Masquerade .
the stories is so ama-zii-nggg.
i love this saga more than twilight saga.
i still searching the 3rd book; revelations
but i can't found it anywhere.
Periplus said to me that they out of stocks
huhhh.
i hope that my friend can find it in Singapore and give it to meee (yeayy)
and nooww, i should read revelations in the e-books version. :P

note : You should read it too !

Random

2009-04-07T06:01:00.000-07:00

Current book that i read

2009-02-23T04:43:00.000-08:00

i read Anne Frank's diary and a novel by my friend at this time

Hey.

2009-02-20T20:13:00.000-08:00

hey all
this is my new blog.
i used to have a blog : phebypath.blogspot.com
but i already deleted it :)
i will start to make new blog with new style and new topic..
hope you all like it.

p.s: thanks to someone that support me to make blog again :)